This experience just isn’t sunshine and rainbows, its cold winds and grey skies.
I knew this. How could I not have known this? But trust me, it is so much easier to be sad and upset when I have Chick-Fil-A around the corner from me. I have met great people and have had amazing experiences, but I can’t help but feel like I’m wasting my time. Coming up on senior year, there is so much pressure to find and internship or a job that actually propels me into my career. I feel like I’m at such a standstill. I know this is my opportunity to relax and explore, but I have so much that I need to focus on for my future that it’s giving me anxiety.
We have about 2 weeks left for classes. Then it’s final coursework and an exam May 8th. I’m honestly so grateful that I have one of the earlier exams. I know I won’t need much time to study for this one course and the sooner I’m out of here the better. BUT LIKE I SWEAR I’M HAVING A GOOD TIME. It’s just expensive and confusing which is what information was given to me beforehand so why am I so surprised? I can’t help but find myself refusing to get out of bed and not wanting to go out at night.
I’m also trying to manage a long distance relationship, and while everything is working out great I just miss having my best friend beside me. I feel like all these experiences would be so much better if I had my friends and family to enjoy it with. Dragging people left and right to go on last minute trips can just cause bumps in the road.
I’m managed to send myself off to cool events that I’m interested in such as The MasterClass by makeupbymario and the Glamour Beauty Festival this past weekend. Sadly, I haven’t found many others who are interested in makeup or are an MUA on the side or as their full career. I guess that makes sense, but this is one of my big hobbies and part time hustles so I love knowing everything about everything beauty related. I trotted off to these events by myself and had a great time, but I just miss having my friends who would have loved coming with me. I met makeupbymario which is Kim Kardashians’ makeup artist and a large influencer in the beauty industry and also met Maisie Williams from Game of Thrones. I was so happy and had such a blast being an audience member on these talks and Q&A’s and have become so inspired over the weekend to jumpstart my career. It’s just so difficult to do that without having a US phone number since most applications don’t accept otherwise. I just want to be home focusing on the future. The now is so dull and depressing. Studying abroad feels like a scam at this point and I’m just disappointed. I don’t feel like this university has a great support system and when I’ve tried to reach out I never get responses.
back to my netflix binges.