A nurse saved my life two weeks ago—probably. I mean, she gave me a flu shot, so she essentially saved my life. She also gave me a Hello Kitty Band-Aid that I *ahem* suggested I might like. The rest of the day, my shoulder felt sore, but a few hours of pain beats an indefinitely long infection—that I unwittingly could spread to others, including my hypochondriac boss, thus costing me my internship, as well as my entire Washington semester, my future as a congressional lawmaker, and potentially the fate of the free world (gasps). . . . So I’m glad I got my flu shot.

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